Noxology
2021-04-26
Brilliant
Here’s Elon Musk’s ‘SNL’ opening monologue (as redacted by the SEC)
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He paid a fine of $20 million and had to step down as chairman.</p>\n<p>That may be little more than a parking ticket to the richest man in the world, but the SEC seems poised to have the last laugh.</p>\n<p>In addition to an early draft of a “Flamethrowers, flamethrowers, flamethrowers!” sketch, MarketWatch somehow obtained Musk’s prepared opening monologue, after it has been redacted by the SEC. Michaels might want to put the SEC’s lawyers on the payroll, as the edited opening looks to be the funniest the show has had in years.</p>\n<p class=\"t-img-caption\"><img src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/50826b4894b683f5e80b4c95c0b0f2ac\" tg-width=\"1260\" tg-height=\"1713\"><span>MarketWatch</span></p>","source":"market_watch","collect":0,"html":"<!DOCTYPE html>\n<html>\n<head>\n<meta http-equiv=\"Content-Type\" content=\"text/html; charset=utf-8\" />\n<meta name=\"viewport\" content=\"width=device-width,initial-scale=1.0,minimum-scale=1.0,maximum-scale=1.0,user-scalable=no\"/>\n<meta name=\"format-detection\" content=\"telephone=no,email=no,address=no\" />\n<title>Here’s Elon Musk’s ‘SNL’ opening monologue (as redacted by the SEC) </title>\n<style type=\"text/css\">\na,abbr,acronym,address,applet,article,aside,audio,b,big,blockquote,body,canvas,caption,center,cite,code,dd,del,details,dfn,div,dl,dt,\nem,embed,fieldset,figcaption,figure,footer,form,h1,h2,h3,h4,h5,h6,header,hgroup,html,i,iframe,img,ins,kbd,label,legend,li,mark,menu,nav,\nobject,ol,output,p,pre,q,ruby,s,samp,section,small,span,strike,strong,sub,summary,sup,table,tbody,td,tfoot,th,thead,time,tr,tt,u,ul,var,video{ font:inherit;margin:0;padding:0;vertical-align:baseline;border:0 }\nbody{ font-size:16px; line-height:1.5; color:#999; background:transparent; }\n.wrapper{ overflow:hidden;word-break:break-all;padding:10px; }\nh1,h2{ font-weight:normal; line-height:1.35; margin-bottom:.6em; }\nh3,h4,h5,h6{ line-height:1.35; margin-bottom:1em; }\nh1{ font-size:24px; }\nh2{ font-size:20px; }\nh3{ font-size:18px; }\nh4{ font-size:16px; }\nh5{ font-size:14px; }\nh6{ font-size:12px; }\np,ul,ol,blockquote,dl,table{ margin:1.2em 0; }\nul,ol{ margin-left:2em; }\nul{ list-style:disc; }\nol{ list-style:decimal; }\nli,li p{ margin:10px 0;}\nimg{ max-width:100%;display:block;margin:0 auto 1em; }\nblockquote{ color:#B5B2B1; border-left:3px solid #aaa; padding:1em; }\nstrong,b{font-weight:bold;}\nem,i{font-style:italic;}\ntable{ width:100%;border-collapse:collapse;border-spacing:1px;margin:1em 0;font-size:.9em; }\nth,td{ padding:5px;text-align:left;border:1px solid #aaa; }\nth{ font-weight:bold;background:#5d5d5d; }\n.symbol-link{font-weight:bold;}\n/* header{ border-bottom:1px solid #494756; } */\n.title{ margin:0 0 8px;line-height:1.3;color:#ddd; }\n.meta {color:#5e5c6d;font-size:13px;margin:0 0 .5em; }\na{text-decoration:none; color:#2a4b87;}\n.meta .head { display: inline-block; overflow: hidden}\n.head .h-thumb { width: 30px; height: 30px; margin: 0; padding: 0; border-radius: 50%; float: left;}\n.head .h-content { margin: 0; padding: 0 0 0 9px; float: left;}\n.head .h-name {font-size: 13px; color: #eee; margin: 0;}\n.head .h-time {font-size: 11px; color: #7E829C; margin: 0;line-height: 11px;}\n.small {font-size: 12.5px; display: inline-block; transform: scale(0.9); -webkit-transform: scale(0.9); transform-origin: left; -webkit-transform-origin: left;}\n.smaller {font-size: 12.5px; display: inline-block; transform: scale(0.8); -webkit-transform: scale(0.8); transform-origin: left; -webkit-transform-origin: left;}\n.bt-text {font-size: 12px;margin: 1.5em 0 0 0}\n.bt-text p {margin: 0}\n</style>\n</head>\n<body>\n<div class=\"wrapper\">\n<header>\n<h2 class=\"title\">\nHere’s Elon Musk’s ‘SNL’ opening monologue (as redacted by the SEC) \n</h2>\n\n<h4 class=\"meta\">\n\n\n2021-04-26 10:23 GMT+8 <a href=https://www.marketwatch.com/story/heres-what-elon-musks-snl-opening-monologue-might-look-like-as-redacted-by-the-sec-11619385013?mod=home-page><strong>MarketWatch </strong></a>\n\n\n</h4>\n\n</header>\n<article>\n<div>\n<p>\"Live, from New York...\" MarketWatch photo illustration/Getty Images\nUnlike most celebrities tapped to host “Saturday Night Live,” Elon Musk won’t just phone it in. He’ll Autopilot it in.\nThe bar may ...</p>\n\n<a href=\"https://www.marketwatch.com/story/heres-what-elon-musks-snl-opening-monologue-might-look-like-as-redacted-by-the-sec-11619385013?mod=home-page\">Web Link</a>\n\n</div>\n\n\n</article>\n</div>\n</body>\n</html>\n","type":0,"thumbnail":"","relate_stocks":{"TSLA":"特斯拉"},"source_url":"https://www.marketwatch.com/story/heres-what-elon-musks-snl-opening-monologue-might-look-like-as-redacted-by-the-sec-11619385013?mod=home-page","is_english":true,"share_image_url":"https://static.laohu8.com/599a65733b8245fcf7868668ef9ad712","article_id":"1174093804","content_text":"\"Live, from New York...\" MarketWatch photo illustration/Getty Images\nUnlike most celebrities tapped to host “Saturday Night Live,” Elon Musk won’t just phone it in. 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