自古评论出人才_老虎社区_美港股上老虎 - 老虎社区

自古评论出人才

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<p>乐死我了，我天天蹲那看基金的段子，看着评论区每天一片呜呼哀哉，一片透心凉心飞扬，每当一些朋友想大干一场的时候，就会被大干一场。</p> <p>一些朋友以为玩一玩就能领到命运的红包，但没想到自己就是那个红包。</p> <p>行吧，咱都是头铁的韭菜。</p> <p>每次基金一上热搜，基本就是大跌，太刺激了……基金干脆改名叫刺激基金得了，或者叫刺激战场。</p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/b8120d8406ef981059da536ee0abe2db\" tg-width=\"350\" tg-height=\"328\"></p> <p>基金是真的刺激，评论区也是真的好笑。</p> <p>那种好笑是一种野生的好笑，是正规军文案写不出来的好笑，像一个个铁锤，硬是把一众被299¥文案付费课程培养出来的文案锤出二里地。</p> <p>那种杂糅自由看似不着调的好笑，骚上天了，旁的跟其一比简直是个弟中弟。</p> <p>可能真的太惨了吧，苦中作乐，眼泪像珍珠，越哭越像猪，啥也别说了，一块看看吧。</p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/50604fb5b8b66e1994de7ced44a2d1c8\" tg-width=\"575\" tg-height=\"486\"></p> <p>先上一些散户段子：</p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/792c5392466ccfbd6f1476eeeb425f3d\" tg-width=\"368\" tg-height=\"323\"></p> <p>估计最近买基金股票的铁子们都是这个颜色，大部分都跟hulk似的：</p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/c633fd2034ee8727f4a8ced04b444a8e\" tg-width=\"255\" tg-height=\"255\"></p> <p>因为一打开他妈的跟来到大草原一样，笑着笑着就哭了，大草原空气清新，而我也成了新一代韭皇。</p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/8029c7af0abc91c78c03005f0cc90399\" tg-width=\"650\" tg-height=\"646\"></p> <p>以后玩吃鸡，队友舔我盒子时候都能闻到一股韭菜味，因为我已然变成了一个合格的韭菜盒子。</p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/cf7a25fb7418e36b55b8dc79f83d24f1\" tg-width=\"300\" tg-height=\"325\"></p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/7eedeee5780ae8c4e231c006bf16ac1c\" tg-width=\"650\" tg-height=\"188\"></p> <p>这个时候不要叫爹！</p> <p>要叫家长，加倍往上涨。</p> <p>不许叫哥（割）！</p> <p>要叫兄长！（凶涨）</p> <p>也就是说，买份基金其实等于附加得到了一份父爱，但我该怎么向我爹解释，我外面还有一个爹。</p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/a103d373876397f56eeaacdb8b9f8308\" tg-width=\"440\" tg-height=\"412\"></p> <p>对于这份父爱，一开始大家都希望是父爱。</p> <p>谁知道是负爱。</p> <p>其实这个段子还可以再续上：</p> <p>为了感受母爱小明又买了黄金，最近他终于感受到了娘（凉）。</p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/6d553781f89d8354f5185e523bf5f967\" tg-width=\"650\" tg-height=\"216\"></p> <p>。。。可以吃，酒酿圆子。</p> <p>可以先吃药再喝酒最后开个新能源车回家路上买点农产品最后使用科技产品，一看我就是老韭菜了，拿捏到位。</p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/cd2a435b4a1857945ea4a86dacbf7638\" tg-width=\"650\" tg-height=\"718\"></p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/5f8e2ae21680aef43c642a0c075a58a0\" tg-width=\"650\" tg-height=\"296\"></p> <p>有时候想想，玩玩股票基金真不错啊！</p> <p>不仅省钱，还可以随时让你四大皆空分分钟想削发为尼僧。</p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/bccb2dd9d727cf5c55eb7750d4a2a46e\" tg-width=\"650\" tg-height=\"635\"></p> <p>前几天迎财神，结果迎一穷神。。。</p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/931e96ce419178cf548789ad0c92b9dd\" tg-width=\"569\" tg-height=\"595\"></p> <p>初看不知段中意 再看已是段中人，我想抄它的底，它想抄我的家，我的心已经不会再痛了。</p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/ba4bb58ca1e29f0afa84c9154998844f\" tg-width=\"440\" tg-height=\"521\"></p> <p>所以就不要天天盯着它，除了赚个高血压，啥都没赚到。</p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/453f1b29d6ddffbad0c8f21444c472d0\" tg-width=\"650\" tg-height=\"465\"></p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/8ca0d52036bfe3c583092fab3e0566d2\" tg-width=\"198\" tg-height=\"188\"></p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/ff2bf18c84598397bb28e034f38ae1f4\" tg-width=\"650\" tg-height=\"635\"></p> <p>不赔就是赚，空仓才是赢家，没有买卖就没有伤害。。。凭运气挣的钱，会凭实力给吐出去。</p> <p>你不理财，财不理你。</p> <p>你一理财，财离开你。</p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/45f555eaf9dd8cd82813962496c1d8c8\" tg-width=\"578\" tg-height=\"599\"></p> <p>你想做财富的朋友，财富说他没你这种朋友：</p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/2a5ebf2c583d29f301308f63861d6065\" tg-width=\"650\" tg-height=\"188\"></p> <p>。。。时间就是最好的解药，这句话不仅可以在情场中说，也可以在这说。</p> <p>比较绿的一组</p> <p></p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/34f4b3dc3fd1f90f72ebc3b05bf99169\" tg-width=\"650\" tg-height=\"277\"></p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/d45bf7d574ca2aba39ae3476c6b6dcb8\" tg-width=\"650\" tg-height=\"156\"></p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/22a318c7d4576453ffef5f5290055990\" tg-width=\"640\" tg-height=\"374\"></p> <p>总有人会被绿</p> <p>为什么不是你呢</p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/47f0fc21ad885a90749ea969aa10748e\" tg-width=\"650\" tg-height=\"343\"></p> <p>这就业余了吧，这个叫学费，什么手续费。。。</p> <p>不记得哪个博主说过：</p> <p>都说吃亏是福，自从买了基金，我成了福娃。</p> <p>这说得真是不福不行，我简直是五福临门，福娃本人，拥有了稳稳的幸福。</p> <p>。。。但是我要这幸福有何用</p> <p>抽一位幸运网友为我抗下所有：</p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/a2d6fbb6ef0a2e367884cce2841fe245\" tg-width=\"440\" tg-height=\"441\"></p> <p>希望你不要身在福中不知福哦。</p> <p>低情商：</p> <p>你基金怎么又亏了</p> <p>高情商：</p> <p>你好有福气哦</p> <p>低情商：</p> <p>你基金怎么又亏了</p> <p>高情商：</p> <p>今天基金对眼睛好</p> <p>打开支付宝，保护视力从我做起。</p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/bf8383c277a210616265ddf0bfb12d8b\" tg-width=\"650\" tg-height=\"483\"></p> <p>哈哈哈哈哈，连段子都欺负散户，散户太惨了：</p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/87b7f0a3339c6a4c2be8c0d8443719d5\" tg-width=\"650\" tg-height=\"130\"></p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/f43e093e0a255a4b60b37f7fff5cd030\" tg-width=\"194\" tg-height=\"200\"></p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/90623f0c6d33802107118b51083b946f\" tg-width=\"650\" tg-height=\"650\"></p> <p>只要我在基金还涨的时候关掉再也不打开，我就永远是赚的。</p> <p>基金下跌的时候，只要我不卖，我就不会真的亏钱。</p> <p>只要不卖吃得就是薛定谔的亏。</p> <p>薛定谔：</p> <p>是的，时间成本当我没看见。</p> <p>只要你把价值投资=深套牢牢锁死，那基本是个合格的韭菜了，这就是传说中的韭久皈依了吧，那那天可被称为：</p> <p>韭 月 韭 日</p> <p>谁还记得一开始网购是为了省钱的，玩游戏是为了开心的，养猫是为了体验当主子的快乐的，买基金是想赚点副业钱的。。。</p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/3843e0035f8346d572c137f709726ecd\" tg-width=\"650\" tg-height=\"390\"></p> <p>一组韭菜合集：</p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/a17799005089c3f74e864e93434d844e\" tg-width=\"650\" tg-height=\"268\"></p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/57f99699e313725f531d450e30dd2551\" tg-width=\"580\" tg-height=\"443\"></p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/57703192d96db53e6e40975807a4a76a\" tg-width=\"650\" tg-height=\"325\"></p> <p>都是说理财不能把鸡蛋放在一个篮子里，那这能叫篮子吗，这得叫打蛋器，不仅装不了鸡蛋，孵不出来小鸡，蛋壳都给你搅碎了。</p> <p>前几天还在想：</p> <p>我真的需要这份工作吗？</p> <p>这几天看完基金的我：</p> <p>是真的需要。</p> <p>前几天跟客户说话还非常不耐烦，现在我：</p> <p>在此送大家一本《韭菜经》：</p> <p>今天买，明天涨</p> <p>马上买，马上涨</p> <p>买哪股，哪股涨</p> <p>看着哪股哪股红</p> <p>跌停马上变涨停</p> <p>不再做韭菜</p> <p>割我是无赖</p> <p>别无所求</p> <p>财富自由</p> <p>岁岁有牛市</p> <p>年年都涨停</p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/b6634891fb30c1768a5013656c320679\" tg-width=\"650\" tg-height=\"625\"></p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/488416c2633bf8196fe22240db084e80\" tg-width=\"650\" tg-height=\"409\"></p> <p>哎算了，毕竟我挣了80块钱都觉得自己是新媒体巴菲特了，所以我玩基金主要目的不是为了赚钱，主要是培养心态。</p> <p>我已经不是当初一跌就嗷嗷叫的韭菜了，现在是怎么跌都无动于衷的钮祜禄 · 韭菜。</p> <p>咋说，呼儿将出换美酒，与尔同销万古愁吧。</p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/055e1c07aa76f1fcd382def441f28cee\" tg-width=\"650\" tg-height=\"604\"></p> <p>下面！</p> <p>来到了段子重灾区！</p> <p>诺安段子区！</p> <p>真的太好笑了，诺安支付宝评论区，新晋段子基地，靠一己之力，完成了基金风险教育，诺安人民太惨了。</p> <p>世界上最大的谎言：</p> <p>诺安明天必涨</p> <p>世界上最卑微的话：</p> <p>还好诺安今天只跌了2个点</p> <p>假设你左手诺安半导体，右手国投军工，脚踏原油，头顶券商，那基本可以体会到古代五马分尸的感觉，根本看不到人间的红色。</p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/2edbc7ccb8d1f5c376595b9369a9c958\" tg-width=\"294\" tg-height=\"195\"></p> <p>跌才是正常的，涨了反而是意外。</p> <p>天下基金段子共十斗，诺安独占八斗，感受一波：</p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/41e87a59198ff2034e6e370b909f8984\" tg-width=\"650\" tg-height=\"143\"></p> <p>从不买到跌</p> <p>原来只需要一个冲动</p> <p>诺安挣钱诺安花</p> <p>一分别想带回家</p> <p>你诺安好</p> <p>便是晴天</p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/6213db6dcc824b3a1a6e9b92bb46b2df\" tg-width=\"498\" tg-height=\"500\"></p> <p></p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/244891fdd8205c9aceb01399c54028f0\" tg-width=\"650\" tg-height=\"484\"></p> <p>连股神巴菲特都研究不出来的</p> <p>完美投资之道</p> <p>被这届年轻人攻破了</p> <p>。。。。。。</p> <p></p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/253783d520f7d7422536f9defc93f13d\" tg-width=\"650\" tg-height=\"358\"></p> <p></p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/902764fdb8876a0fbd881ff4f7a11b6b\" tg-width=\"440\" tg-height=\"1733\"></p> <p></p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/391c6281989259ad20d4f98e769defb5\" tg-width=\"650\" tg-height=\"303\"></p> <p></p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/8236c3ac25bda41a9eac999d39bfa4ed\" tg-width=\"591\" tg-height=\"178\"></p> <p></p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/388d87d814ed79c378ef876d9722d4f1\" tg-width=\"650\" tg-height=\"915\"></p> <p></p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/7756f95fa1b4d1c8d344e8a6c49a747d\" tg-width=\"650\" tg-height=\"372\"></p> <p></p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/5619f372e6adbfae046865ef4d4e3855\" tg-width=\"650\" tg-height=\"453\"></p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/84794a19cc4aadebf4e051c431decf58\" tg-width=\"650\" tg-height=\"477\"></p> <p></p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/bd9eb19f3cb520953f196bbe9fbb69e7\" tg-width=\"650\" tg-height=\"474\"></p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/bc34f66b1e39a640ce3b7056ad1b8e4d\" tg-width=\"650\" tg-height=\"639\"></p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/471ddf887fe3b3a35e4379bdeadc909d\" tg-width=\"650\" tg-height=\"575\"></p> <p>买诺安就是因为信仰</p> <p>诺安永不为奴</p> <p>除非抄底成功</p> <p></p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/343be5879c2c888e2940931b12f727c3\" tg-width=\"650\" tg-height=\"649\"></p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/0b407f69a6ade5db4aa665f5b8415de7\" tg-width=\"650\" tg-height=\"566\"></p> <p>真 · 山顶洞人</p> <p>每次都精准抄顶</p> <p>相当精准反向操作</p> <p></p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/8663a904c4eb95310d15d346c527f515\" tg-width=\"650\" tg-height=\"183\"></p> <p></p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/0ff0a6c8e0da16efafed0361b9a2c0a0\" tg-width=\"650\" tg-height=\"273\"></p> <p>年少不知白酒香</p> <p>错把诺安建底仓</p> <p>年少不知能源新</p> <p>错把诺安加了仓</p> <p>年少不知医疗好</p> <p>又把诺安仓位搞</p> <p>年少不知消费贵</p> <p>再把诺安重仓位</p> <p>年少就已满仓干</p> <p>诺安成长没法干</p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/9ebdcce3d8d56a92eb681ee3b9f63de2\" tg-width=\"627\" tg-height=\"680\"></p> <p>诺安评论区还有一绝是骂蔡经理的，真的很好笑，对不起蔡经理。。。</p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/1c99f356bc93f224cb82355a2d75505d\" tg-width=\"650\" tg-height=\"312\"></p> <p></p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/3867493d791ef20630d02346a863447b\" tg-width=\"564\" tg-height=\"148\"></p> <p></p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/fb1dcc9b558c2622aeae0a276d27db15\" tg-width=\"650\" tg-height=\"223\"></p> <p></p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/0a22f86e3fd83914791ab28b0890b4fc\" tg-width=\"650\" tg-height=\"353\"></p> <p></p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/98ce45fa44233dcf090abb5851724cc6\" tg-width=\"562\" tg-height=\"347\"></p> <p></p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/996102b156c4c0ca6d17ea673e96f0e5\" tg-width=\"650\" tg-height=\"217\"></p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/3b533f417dc657d8adf8f0ec60d3589d\" tg-width=\"650\" tg-height=\"252\"></p> <p></p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/e4b69c1d96cbc61c0caaa2d6173bc42f\" tg-width=\"650\" tg-height=\"376\"></p> <p>对此蔡经理说：</p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/04fd132683750dd3fc59410b606077b2\" tg-width=\"650\" tg-height=\"369\"></p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/e5b1d2f20cc0739621fa7747baead9df\" tg-width=\"630\" tg-height=\"764\"></p> <p>涨了蔡经理，跌了经理菜</p> <p>一秒蔡哥，一生菜狗</p> <p>《论心态的变化从买基金开始》</p> <p>《变 脸 的 艺 术》</p> <p>中午：</p> <p>尊贵的蔡皇重回他的宝座</p> <p>下午三点：</p> <p>无能的菜狗必将会逐出市场</p> <p>能不能把眼光放长远一些，买诺安是长线赚大钱的，你看蔡经理不就一下从我们这赚走7000多万吗！</p> <p>诺安人，诺安魂，诺安才是人上人</p> <p>跟着蔡哥混，一天饿三顿</p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/22772c64f2f10f7329afceaf1677c677\" tg-width=\"650\" tg-height=\"652\"></p> <p>然后更神奇的事情发生了，诺安基金讨论区变成了大型相亲现场：</p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/e9f70cc5e41b8cad60fe02f7cca618e8\" tg-width=\"650\" tg-height=\"385\"></p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/778e31e2ee33eec9688bc7e2e48f3314\" tg-width=\"650\" tg-height=\"351\"></p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/4d9b48ea2be2ffa0e54d2da9848fd235\" tg-width=\"650\" tg-height=\"169\"></p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/8cf8272445debc032946af8aa0863888\" tg-width=\"650\" tg-height=\"684\"></p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/c09540d0820759b50557b897decaf2a7\" tg-width=\"650\" tg-height=\"623\"></p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/3c3cf4d8926c7369d0ee1a981ab2b6cf\" tg-width=\"650\" tg-height=\"537\"></p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/509fbfc7899f55c50ac622745801af8d\" tg-width=\"650\" tg-height=\"790\"></p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/b823cf18780ccbca6754bc48756281ad\" tg-width=\"650\" tg-height=\"407\"></p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/bf70b974d586262ed99608a2be5d4294\" tg-width=\"650\" tg-height=\"729\"></p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/ed83b6f845bd8c7fcde1e705df5f1fcd\" tg-width=\"650\" tg-height=\"432\"></p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/37ec6db37991380006ffc6221cca755a\" tg-width=\"650\" tg-height=\"433\"></p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/2be41d0bdab3676bd9b43e6086409026\" tg-width=\"650\" tg-height=\"926\"></p> <p>果然什么软件最后都可以变成社交软件，这一切都要感谢蔡哥！</p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/545ff4f94b8097616e2dcfe98009e911\" tg-width=\"650\" tg-height=\"802\"></p> <p>现在投资行业真的娱乐化了，很多人都不是为了赚钱，完全是图一乐，而且越来越多年轻人加入。</p> <p>热搜上时不时就出现“基金”、“A股”的词条，各大平台出现越来越多的理财段子，理财成为一种社交谈资，理财经理正在网红化。</p> <p>这种趋势会带来一种长尾效应，但是理财投资还是要谨慎，尤其是当忙碌贫穷的广告行业都在讨论基金的时候，感觉是时候空仓了。。。</p> <p>当然，绿了也别太沮丧，我记得有个武功，还是秘籍啥的，就是自己越绿，就会越来越强。</p> <p>叫啥来着，我想想。</p> <p>哦，我想起来了，叫：</p> <p>光合作用</p> <p>。。。。。。</p> <p>基金是把杀猪刀</p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/48c8dabdf7739e27ad306549a0594fb6\" tg-width=\"650\" tg-height=\"2014\"></p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/64da6413a823b77f364f3fc855296b2e\" tg-width=\"650\" tg-height=\"1583\"></p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/04f46c0e3ce35d81ff05da2205b81516\" tg-width=\"650\" tg-height=\"1730\"></p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/282d9e67efda69ad0e37f63714c5ee54\" tg-width=\"650\" tg-height=\"1627\"></p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/5d9008905637c958ed5a1b7ce1eac796\" tg-width=\"650\" tg-height=\"2038\"></p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/6a867c476ded8792a8925875bd10a308\" tg-width=\"650\" tg-height=\"1964\"></p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/9d7e45d60141ab4fe73703d15e42181b\" tg-width=\"650\" tg-height=\"1163\"></p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/e9b634cc47d64b935f45af7de2d3630a\" tg-width=\"650\" tg-height=\"1440\"></p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/76019231233282bce401861d7a5ce5c1\" tg-width=\"496\" tg-height=\"496\">收留白酒 医疗 军工 新能源半导体诺安等基金大跌的心碎男孩</p> <p>年龄20-30</p> <p>长相俊俏</p> <p>八块腹肌者优先</p> <p>基金无情</p> <p>人有情</p> <p>大盘绿你</p> <p>我不绿</p> <p>你的不安</p> <p>我来承担</p> <p>哪怕全世界割你韭菜</p> <p>我也是你最温暖的港湾</p> <p>文章来源：socialmarketing</p></body></html>","htmlText":"<html><head></head><body><p>今天分享一个比较刺激，悲伤，又好笑的文章，因为是关于基金的。</p> <p>乐死我了，我天天蹲那看基金的段子，看着评论区每天一片呜呼哀哉，一片透心凉心飞扬，每当一些朋友想大干一场的时候，就会被大干一场。</p> <p>一些朋友以为玩一玩就能领到命运的红包，但没想到自己就是那个红包。</p> <p>行吧，咱都是头铁的韭菜。</p> <p>每次基金一上热搜，基本就是大跌，太刺激了……基金干脆改名叫刺激基金得了，或者叫刺激战场。</p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/b8120d8406ef981059da536ee0abe2db\" tg-width=\"350\" tg-height=\"328\"></p> <p>基金是真的刺激，评论区也是真的好笑。</p> <p>那种好笑是一种野生的好笑，是正规军文案写不出来的好笑，像一个个铁锤，硬是把一众被299¥文案付费课程培养出来的文案锤出二里地。</p> <p>那种杂糅自由看似不着调的好笑，骚上天了，旁的跟其一比简直是个弟中弟。</p> <p>可能真的太惨了吧，苦中作乐，眼泪像珍珠，越哭越像猪，啥也别说了，一块看看吧。</p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/50604fb5b8b66e1994de7ced44a2d1c8\" tg-width=\"575\" tg-height=\"486\"></p> <p>先上一些散户段子：</p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/792c5392466ccfbd6f1476eeeb425f3d\" tg-width=\"368\" tg-height=\"323\"></p> <p>估计最近买基金股票的铁子们都是这个颜色，大部分都跟hulk似的：</p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/c633fd2034ee8727f4a8ced04b444a8e\" tg-width=\"255\" tg-height=\"255\"></p> <p>因为一打开他妈的跟来到大草原一样，笑着笑着就哭了，大草原空气清新，而我也成了新一代韭皇。</p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/8029c7af0abc91c78c03005f0cc90399\" tg-width=\"650\" tg-height=\"646\"></p> <p>以后玩吃鸡，队友舔我盒子时候都能闻到一股韭菜味，因为我已然变成了一个合格的韭菜盒子。</p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/cf7a25fb7418e36b55b8dc79f83d24f1\" tg-width=\"300\" tg-height=\"325\"></p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/7eedeee5780ae8c4e231c006bf16ac1c\" tg-width=\"650\" tg-height=\"188\"></p> <p>这个时候不要叫爹！</p> <p>要叫家长，加倍往上涨。</p> <p>不许叫哥（割）！</p> <p>要叫兄长！（凶涨）</p> <p>也就是说，买份基金其实等于附加得到了一份父爱，但我该怎么向我爹解释，我外面还有一个爹。</p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/a103d373876397f56eeaacdb8b9f8308\" tg-width=\"440\" tg-height=\"412\"></p> <p>对于这份父爱，一开始大家都希望是父爱。</p> <p>谁知道是负爱。</p> <p>其实这个段子还可以再续上：</p> <p>为了感受母爱小明又买了黄金，最近他终于感受到了娘（凉）。</p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/6d553781f89d8354f5185e523bf5f967\" tg-width=\"650\" tg-height=\"216\"></p> <p>。。。可以吃，酒酿圆子。</p> <p>可以先吃药再喝酒最后开个新能源车回家路上买点农产品最后使用科技产品，一看我就是老韭菜了，拿捏到位。</p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/cd2a435b4a1857945ea4a86dacbf7638\" tg-width=\"650\" tg-height=\"718\"></p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/5f8e2ae21680aef43c642a0c075a58a0\" tg-width=\"650\" tg-height=\"296\"></p> <p>有时候想想，玩玩股票基金真不错啊！</p> <p>不仅省钱，还可以随时让你四大皆空分分钟想削发为尼僧。</p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/bccb2dd9d727cf5c55eb7750d4a2a46e\" tg-width=\"650\" tg-height=\"635\"></p> <p>前几天迎财神，结果迎一穷神。。。</p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/931e96ce419178cf548789ad0c92b9dd\" tg-width=\"569\" tg-height=\"595\"></p> <p>初看不知段中意 再看已是段中人，我想抄它的底，它想抄我的家，我的心已经不会再痛了。</p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/ba4bb58ca1e29f0afa84c9154998844f\" tg-width=\"440\" tg-height=\"521\"></p> <p>所以就不要天天盯着它，除了赚个高血压，啥都没赚到。</p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/453f1b29d6ddffbad0c8f21444c472d0\" tg-width=\"650\" tg-height=\"465\"></p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/8ca0d52036bfe3c583092fab3e0566d2\" tg-width=\"198\" tg-height=\"188\"></p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/ff2bf18c84598397bb28e034f38ae1f4\" tg-width=\"650\" tg-height=\"635\"></p> <p>不赔就是赚，空仓才是赢家，没有买卖就没有伤害。。。凭运气挣的钱，会凭实力给吐出去。</p> <p>你不理财，财不理你。</p> <p>你一理财，财离开你。</p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/45f555eaf9dd8cd82813962496c1d8c8\" tg-width=\"578\" tg-height=\"599\"></p> <p>你想做财富的朋友，财富说他没你这种朋友：</p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/2a5ebf2c583d29f301308f63861d6065\" tg-width=\"650\" tg-height=\"188\"></p> <p>。。。时间就是最好的解药，这句话不仅可以在情场中说，也可以在这说。</p> <p>比较绿的一组</p> <p></p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/34f4b3dc3fd1f90f72ebc3b05bf99169\" tg-width=\"650\" tg-height=\"277\"></p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/d45bf7d574ca2aba39ae3476c6b6dcb8\" tg-width=\"650\" tg-height=\"156\"></p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/22a318c7d4576453ffef5f5290055990\" tg-width=\"640\" tg-height=\"374\"></p> <p>总有人会被绿</p> <p>为什么不是你呢</p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/47f0fc21ad885a90749ea969aa10748e\" tg-width=\"650\" tg-height=\"343\"></p> <p>这就业余了吧，这个叫学费，什么手续费。。。</p> <p>不记得哪个博主说过：</p> <p>都说吃亏是福，自从买了基金，我成了福娃。</p> <p>这说得真是不福不行，我简直是五福临门，福娃本人，拥有了稳稳的幸福。</p> <p>。。。但是我要这幸福有何用</p> <p>抽一位幸运网友为我抗下所有：</p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/a2d6fbb6ef0a2e367884cce2841fe245\" tg-width=\"440\" tg-height=\"441\"></p> <p>希望你不要身在福中不知福哦。</p> <p>低情商：</p> <p>你基金怎么又亏了</p> <p>高情商：</p> <p>你好有福气哦</p> <p>低情商：</p> <p>你基金怎么又亏了</p> <p>高情商：</p> <p>今天基金对眼睛好</p> <p>打开支付宝，保护视力从我做起。</p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/bf8383c277a210616265ddf0bfb12d8b\" tg-width=\"650\" tg-height=\"483\"></p> <p>哈哈哈哈哈，连段子都欺负散户，散户太惨了：</p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/87b7f0a3339c6a4c2be8c0d8443719d5\" tg-width=\"650\" tg-height=\"130\"></p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/f43e093e0a255a4b60b37f7fff5cd030\" tg-width=\"194\" tg-height=\"200\"></p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/90623f0c6d33802107118b51083b946f\" tg-width=\"650\" tg-height=\"650\"></p> <p>只要我在基金还涨的时候关掉再也不打开，我就永远是赚的。</p> <p>基金下跌的时候，只要我不卖，我就不会真的亏钱。</p> <p>只要不卖吃得就是薛定谔的亏。</p> <p>薛定谔：</p> <p>是的，时间成本当我没看见。</p> <p>只要你把价值投资=深套牢牢锁死，那基本是个合格的韭菜了，这就是传说中的韭久皈依了吧，那那天可被称为：</p> <p>韭 月 韭 日</p> <p>谁还记得一开始网购是为了省钱的，玩游戏是为了开心的，养猫是为了体验当主子的快乐的，买基金是想赚点副业钱的。。。</p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/3843e0035f8346d572c137f709726ecd\" tg-width=\"650\" tg-height=\"390\"></p> <p>一组韭菜合集：</p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/a17799005089c3f74e864e93434d844e\" tg-width=\"650\" tg-height=\"268\"></p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/57f99699e313725f531d450e30dd2551\" tg-width=\"580\" tg-height=\"443\"></p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/57703192d96db53e6e40975807a4a76a\" tg-width=\"650\" tg-height=\"325\"></p> <p>都是说理财不能把鸡蛋放在一个篮子里，那这能叫篮子吗，这得叫打蛋器，不仅装不了鸡蛋，孵不出来小鸡，蛋壳都给你搅碎了。</p> <p>前几天还在想：</p> <p>我真的需要这份工作吗？</p> <p>这几天看完基金的我：</p> <p>是真的需要。</p> <p>前几天跟客户说话还非常不耐烦，现在我：</p> <p>在此送大家一本《韭菜经》：</p> <p>今天买，明天涨</p> <p>马上买，马上涨</p> <p>买哪股，哪股涨</p> <p>看着哪股哪股红</p> <p>跌停马上变涨停</p> <p>不再做韭菜</p> <p>割我是无赖</p> <p>别无所求</p> <p>财富自由</p> <p>岁岁有牛市</p> <p>年年都涨停</p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/b6634891fb30c1768a5013656c320679\" tg-width=\"650\" tg-height=\"625\"></p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/488416c2633bf8196fe22240db084e80\" tg-width=\"650\" tg-height=\"409\"></p> <p>哎算了，毕竟我挣了80块钱都觉得自己是新媒体巴菲特了，所以我玩基金主要目的不是为了赚钱，主要是培养心态。</p> <p>我已经不是当初一跌就嗷嗷叫的韭菜了，现在是怎么跌都无动于衷的钮祜禄 · 韭菜。</p> <p>咋说，呼儿将出换美酒，与尔同销万古愁吧。</p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/055e1c07aa76f1fcd382def441f28cee\" tg-width=\"650\" tg-height=\"604\"></p> <p>下面！</p> <p>来到了段子重灾区！</p> <p>诺安段子区！</p> <p>真的太好笑了，诺安支付宝评论区，新晋段子基地，靠一己之力，完成了基金风险教育，诺安人民太惨了。</p> <p>世界上最大的谎言：</p> <p>诺安明天必涨</p> <p>世界上最卑微的话：</p> <p>还好诺安今天只跌了2个点</p> <p>假设你左手诺安半导体，右手国投军工，脚踏原油，头顶券商，那基本可以体会到古代五马分尸的感觉，根本看不到人间的红色。</p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/2edbc7ccb8d1f5c376595b9369a9c958\" tg-width=\"294\" tg-height=\"195\"></p> <p>跌才是正常的，涨了反而是意外。</p> <p>天下基金段子共十斗，诺安独占八斗，感受一波：</p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/41e87a59198ff2034e6e370b909f8984\" tg-width=\"650\" tg-height=\"143\"></p> <p>从不买到跌</p> <p>原来只需要一个冲动</p> <p>诺安挣钱诺安花</p> <p>一分别想带回家</p> <p>你诺安好</p> <p>便是晴天</p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/6213db6dcc824b3a1a6e9b92bb46b2df\" tg-width=\"498\" tg-height=\"500\"></p> <p></p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/244891fdd8205c9aceb01399c54028f0\" tg-width=\"650\" tg-height=\"484\"></p> <p>连股神巴菲特都研究不出来的</p> <p>完美投资之道</p> <p>被这届年轻人攻破了</p> <p>。。。。。。</p> <p></p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/253783d520f7d7422536f9defc93f13d\" tg-width=\"650\" tg-height=\"358\"></p> <p></p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/902764fdb8876a0fbd881ff4f7a11b6b\" tg-width=\"440\" tg-height=\"1733\"></p> <p></p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/391c6281989259ad20d4f98e769defb5\" tg-width=\"650\" tg-height=\"303\"></p> <p></p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/8236c3ac25bda41a9eac999d39bfa4ed\" tg-width=\"591\" tg-height=\"178\"></p> <p></p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/388d87d814ed79c378ef876d9722d4f1\" tg-width=\"650\" tg-height=\"915\"></p> <p></p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/7756f95fa1b4d1c8d344e8a6c49a747d\" tg-width=\"650\" tg-height=\"372\"></p> <p></p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/5619f372e6adbfae046865ef4d4e3855\" tg-width=\"650\" tg-height=\"453\"></p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/84794a19cc4aadebf4e051c431decf58\" tg-width=\"650\" tg-height=\"477\"></p> <p></p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/bd9eb19f3cb520953f196bbe9fbb69e7\" tg-width=\"650\" tg-height=\"474\"></p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/bc34f66b1e39a640ce3b7056ad1b8e4d\" tg-width=\"650\" tg-height=\"639\"></p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/471ddf887fe3b3a35e4379bdeadc909d\" tg-width=\"650\" tg-height=\"575\"></p> <p>买诺安就是因为信仰</p> <p>诺安永不为奴</p> <p>除非抄底成功</p> <p></p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/343be5879c2c888e2940931b12f727c3\" tg-width=\"650\" tg-height=\"649\"></p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/0b407f69a6ade5db4aa665f5b8415de7\" tg-width=\"650\" tg-height=\"566\"></p> <p>真 · 山顶洞人</p> <p>每次都精准抄顶</p> <p>相当精准反向操作</p> <p></p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/8663a904c4eb95310d15d346c527f515\" tg-width=\"650\" tg-height=\"183\"></p> <p></p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/0ff0a6c8e0da16efafed0361b9a2c0a0\" tg-width=\"650\" tg-height=\"273\"></p> <p>年少不知白酒香</p> <p>错把诺安建底仓</p> <p>年少不知能源新</p> <p>错把诺安加了仓</p> <p>年少不知医疗好</p> <p>又把诺安仓位搞</p> <p>年少不知消费贵</p> <p>再把诺安重仓位</p> <p>年少就已满仓干</p> <p>诺安成长没法干</p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/9ebdcce3d8d56a92eb681ee3b9f63de2\" tg-width=\"627\" tg-height=\"680\"></p> <p>诺安评论区还有一绝是骂蔡经理的，真的很好笑，对不起蔡经理。。。</p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/1c99f356bc93f224cb82355a2d75505d\" tg-width=\"650\" tg-height=\"312\"></p> <p></p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/3867493d791ef20630d02346a863447b\" tg-width=\"564\" tg-height=\"148\"></p> <p></p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/fb1dcc9b558c2622aeae0a276d27db15\" tg-width=\"650\" tg-height=\"223\"></p> <p></p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/0a22f86e3fd83914791ab28b0890b4fc\" tg-width=\"650\" tg-height=\"353\"></p> <p></p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/98ce45fa44233dcf090abb5851724cc6\" tg-width=\"562\" tg-height=\"347\"></p> <p></p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/996102b156c4c0ca6d17ea673e96f0e5\" tg-width=\"650\" tg-height=\"217\"></p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/3b533f417dc657d8adf8f0ec60d3589d\" tg-width=\"650\" tg-height=\"252\"></p> <p></p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/e4b69c1d96cbc61c0caaa2d6173bc42f\" tg-width=\"650\" tg-height=\"376\"></p> <p>对此蔡经理说：</p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/04fd132683750dd3fc59410b606077b2\" tg-width=\"650\" tg-height=\"369\"></p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/e5b1d2f20cc0739621fa7747baead9df\" tg-width=\"630\" tg-height=\"764\"></p> <p>涨了蔡经理，跌了经理菜</p> <p>一秒蔡哥，一生菜狗</p> <p>《论心态的变化从买基金开始》</p> <p>《变 脸 的 艺 术》</p> <p>中午：</p> <p>尊贵的蔡皇重回他的宝座</p> <p>下午三点：</p> <p>无能的菜狗必将会逐出市场</p> <p>能不能把眼光放长远一些，买诺安是长线赚大钱的，你看蔡经理不就一下从我们这赚走7000多万吗！</p> <p>诺安人，诺安魂，诺安才是人上人</p> <p>跟着蔡哥混，一天饿三顿</p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/22772c64f2f10f7329afceaf1677c677\" tg-width=\"650\" tg-height=\"652\"></p> <p>然后更神奇的事情发生了，诺安基金讨论区变成了大型相亲现场：</p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/e9f70cc5e41b8cad60fe02f7cca618e8\" tg-width=\"650\" tg-height=\"385\"></p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/778e31e2ee33eec9688bc7e2e48f3314\" tg-width=\"650\" tg-height=\"351\"></p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/4d9b48ea2be2ffa0e54d2da9848fd235\" tg-width=\"650\" tg-height=\"169\"></p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/8cf8272445debc032946af8aa0863888\" tg-width=\"650\" tg-height=\"684\"></p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/c09540d0820759b50557b897decaf2a7\" tg-width=\"650\" tg-height=\"623\"></p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/3c3cf4d8926c7369d0ee1a981ab2b6cf\" tg-width=\"650\" tg-height=\"537\"></p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/509fbfc7899f55c50ac622745801af8d\" tg-width=\"650\" tg-height=\"790\"></p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/b823cf18780ccbca6754bc48756281ad\" tg-width=\"650\" tg-height=\"407\"></p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/bf70b974d586262ed99608a2be5d4294\" tg-width=\"650\" tg-height=\"729\"></p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/ed83b6f845bd8c7fcde1e705df5f1fcd\" tg-width=\"650\" tg-height=\"432\"></p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/37ec6db37991380006ffc6221cca755a\" tg-width=\"650\" tg-height=\"433\"></p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/2be41d0bdab3676bd9b43e6086409026\" tg-width=\"650\" tg-height=\"926\"></p> <p>果然什么软件最后都可以变成社交软件，这一切都要感谢蔡哥！</p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/545ff4f94b8097616e2dcfe98009e911\" tg-width=\"650\" tg-height=\"802\"></p> <p>现在投资行业真的娱乐化了，很多人都不是为了赚钱，完全是图一乐，而且越来越多年轻人加入。</p> <p>热搜上时不时就出现“基金”、“A股”的词条，各大平台出现越来越多的理财段子，理财成为一种社交谈资，理财经理正在网红化。</p> <p>这种趋势会带来一种长尾效应，但是理财投资还是要谨慎，尤其是当忙碌贫穷的广告行业都在讨论基金的时候，感觉是时候空仓了。。。</p> <p>当然，绿了也别太沮丧，我记得有个武功，还是秘籍啥的，就是自己越绿，就会越来越强。</p> <p>叫啥来着，我想想。</p> <p>哦，我想起来了，叫：</p> <p>光合作用</p> <p>。。。。。。</p> <p>基金是把杀猪刀</p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/48c8dabdf7739e27ad306549a0594fb6\" tg-width=\"650\" tg-height=\"2014\"></p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/64da6413a823b77f364f3fc855296b2e\" tg-width=\"650\" tg-height=\"1583\"></p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/04f46c0e3ce35d81ff05da2205b81516\" tg-width=\"650\" tg-height=\"1730\"></p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/282d9e67efda69ad0e37f63714c5ee54\" tg-width=\"650\" tg-height=\"1627\"></p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/5d9008905637c958ed5a1b7ce1eac796\" tg-width=\"650\" tg-height=\"2038\"></p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/6a867c476ded8792a8925875bd10a308\" tg-width=\"650\" tg-height=\"1964\"></p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/9d7e45d60141ab4fe73703d15e42181b\" tg-width=\"650\" tg-height=\"1163\"></p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/e9b634cc47d64b935f45af7de2d3630a\" tg-width=\"650\" tg-height=\"1440\"></p> <p><img referrerpolicy=\"no-referrer\" src=\"https://static.tigerbbs.com/76019231233282bce401861d7a5ce5c1\" tg-width=\"496\" tg-height=\"496\">收留白酒 医疗 军工 新能源半导体诺安等基金大跌的心碎男孩</p> <p>年龄20-30</p> <p>长相俊俏</p> <p>八块腹肌者优先</p> <p>基金无情</p> <p>人有情</p> <p>大盘绿你</p> <p>我不绿</p> <p>你的不安</p> <p>我来承担</p> <p>哪怕全世界割你韭菜</p> <p>我也是你最温暖的港湾</p> <p>文章来源：socialmarketing</p></body></html>","text":"今天分享一个比较刺激，悲伤，又好笑的文章，因为是关于基金的。 乐死我了，我天天蹲那看基金的段子，看着评论区每天一片呜呼哀哉，一片透心凉心飞扬，每当一些朋友想大干一场的时候，就会被大干一场。 一些朋友以为玩一玩就能领到命运的红包，但没想到自己就是那个红包。 行吧，咱都是头铁的韭菜。 每次基金一上热搜，基本就是大跌，太刺激了……基金干脆改名叫刺激基金得了，或者叫刺激战场。 基金是真的刺激，评论区也是真的好笑。 那种好笑是一种野生的好笑，是正规军文案写不出来的好笑，像一个个铁锤，硬是把一众被299¥文案付费课程培养出来的文案锤出二里地。 那种杂糅自由看似不着调的好笑，骚上天了，旁的跟其一比简直是个弟中弟。 可能真的太惨了吧，苦中作乐，眼泪像珍珠，越哭越像猪，啥也别说了，一块看看吧。 先上一些散户段子： 估计最近买基金股票的铁子们都是这个颜色，大部分都跟hulk似的： 因为一打开他妈的跟来到大草原一样，笑着笑着就哭了，大草原空气清新，而我也成了新一代韭皇。 以后玩吃鸡，队友舔我盒子时候都能闻到一股韭菜味，因为我已然变成了一个合格的韭菜盒子。 这个时候不要叫爹！ 要叫家长，加倍往上涨。 不许叫哥（割）！ 要叫兄长！（凶涨） 也就是说，买份基金其实等于附加得到了一份父爱，但我该怎么向我爹解释，我外面还有一个爹。 对于这份父爱，一开始大家都希望是父爱。 谁知道是负爱。 其实这个段子还可以再续上： 为了感受母爱小明又买了黄金，最近他终于感受到了娘（凉）。 。。。可以吃，酒酿圆子。 可以先吃药再喝酒最后开个新能源车回家路上买点农产品最后使用科技产品，一看我就是老韭菜了，拿捏到位。 有时候想想，玩玩股票基金真不错啊！ 不仅省钱，还可以随时让你四大皆空分分钟想削发为尼僧。 前几天迎财神，结果迎一穷神。。。 初看不知段中意 再看已是段中人，我想抄它的底，它想抄我的家，我的心已经不会再痛了。 所以就不要天天盯着它，除了赚个高血压，啥都没赚到。 不赔就是赚，空仓才是赢家，没有买卖就没有伤害。。。凭运气挣的钱，会凭实力给吐出去。 你不理财，财不理你。 你一理财，财离开你。 你想做财富的朋友，财富说他没你这种朋友： 。。。时间就是最好的解药，这句话不仅可以在情场中说，也可以在这说。 比较绿的一组 总有人会被绿 为什么不是你呢 这就业余了吧，这个叫学费，什么手续费。。。 不记得哪个博主说过： 都说吃亏是福，自从买了基金，我成了福娃。 这说得真是不福不行，我简直是五福临门，福娃本人，拥有了稳稳的幸福。 。。。但是我要这幸福有何用 抽一位幸运网友为我抗下所有： 希望你不要身在福中不知福哦。 低情商： 你基金怎么又亏了 高情商： 你好有福气哦 低情商： 你基金怎么又亏了 高情商： 今天基金对眼睛好 打开支付宝，保护视力从我做起。 哈哈哈哈哈，连段子都欺负散户，散户太惨了： 只要我在基金还涨的时候关掉再也不打开，我就永远是赚的。 基金下跌的时候，只要我不卖，我就不会真的亏钱。 只要不卖吃得就是薛定谔的亏。 薛定谔： 是的，时间成本当我没看见。 只要你把价值投资=深套牢牢锁死，那基本是个合格的韭菜了，这就是传说中的韭久皈依了吧，那那天可被称为： 韭 月 韭 日 谁还记得一开始网购是为了省钱的，玩游戏是为了开心的，养猫是为了体验当主子的快乐的，买基金是想赚点副业钱的。。。 一组韭菜合集： 都是说理财不能把鸡蛋放在一个篮子里，那这能叫篮子吗，这得叫打蛋器，不仅装不了鸡蛋，孵不出来小鸡，蛋壳都给你搅碎了。 前几天还在想： 我真的需要这份工作吗？ 这几天看完基金的我： 是真的需要。 前几天跟客户说话还非常不耐烦，现在我： 在此送大家一本《韭菜经》： 今天买，明天涨 马上买，马上涨 买哪股，哪股涨 看着哪股哪股红 跌停马上变涨停 不再做韭菜 割我是无赖 别无所求 财富自由 岁岁有牛市 年年都涨停 哎算了，毕竟我挣了80块钱都觉得自己是新媒体巴菲特了，所以我玩基金主要目的不是为了赚钱，主要是培养心态。 我已经不是当初一跌就嗷嗷叫的韭菜了，现在是怎么跌都无动于衷的钮祜禄 · 韭菜。 咋说，呼儿将出换美酒，与尔同销万古愁吧。 下面！ 来到了段子重灾区！ 诺安段子区！ 真的太好笑了，诺安支付宝评论区，新晋段子基地，靠一己之力，完成了基金风险教育，诺安人民太惨了。 世界上最大的谎言： 诺安明天必涨 世界上最卑微的话： 还好诺安今天只跌了2个点 假设你左手诺安半导体，右手国投军工，脚踏原油，头顶券商，那基本可以体会到古代五马分尸的感觉，根本看不到人间的红色。 跌才是正常的，涨了反而是意外。 天下基金段子共十斗，诺安独占八斗，感受一波： 从不买到跌 原来只需要一个冲动 诺安挣钱诺安花 一分别想带回家 你诺安好 便是晴天 连股神巴菲特都研究不出来的 完美投资之道 被这届年轻人攻破了 。。。。。。 买诺安就是因为信仰 诺安永不为奴 除非抄底成功 真 · 山顶洞人 每次都精准抄顶 相当精准反向操作 年少不知白酒香 错把诺安建底仓 年少不知能源新 错把诺安加了仓 年少不知医疗好 又把诺安仓位搞 年少不知消费贵 再把诺安重仓位 年少就已满仓干 诺安成长没法干 诺安评论区还有一绝是骂蔡经理的，真的很好笑，对不起蔡经理。。。 对此蔡经理说： 涨了蔡经理，跌了经理菜 一秒蔡哥，一生菜狗 《论心态的变化从买基金开始》 《变 脸 的 艺 术》 中午： 尊贵的蔡皇重回他的宝座 下午三点： 无能的菜狗必将会逐出市场 能不能把眼光放长远一些，买诺安是长线赚大钱的，你看蔡经理不就一下从我们这赚走7000多万吗！ 诺安人，诺安魂，诺安才是人上人 跟着蔡哥混，一天饿三顿 然后更神奇的事情发生了，诺安基金讨论区变成了大型相亲现场： 果然什么软件最后都可以变成社交软件，这一切都要感谢蔡哥！ 现在投资行业真的娱乐化了，很多人都不是为了赚钱，完全是图一乐，而且越来越多年轻人加入。 热搜上时不时就出现“基金”、“A股”的词条，各大平台出现越来越多的理财段子，理财成为一种社交谈资，理财经理正在网红化。 这种趋势会带来一种长尾效应，但是理财投资还是要谨慎，尤其是当忙碌贫穷的广告行业都在讨论基金的时候，感觉是时候空仓了。。。 当然，绿了也别太沮丧，我记得有个武功，还是秘籍啥的，就是自己越绿，就会越来越强。 叫啥来着，我想想。 哦，我想起来了，叫： 光合作用 。。。。。。 基金是把杀猪刀 收留白酒 医疗 军工 新能源半导体诺安等基金大跌的心碎男孩 年龄20-30 长相俊俏 八块腹肌者优先 基金无情 人有情 大盘绿你 我不绿 你的不安 我来承担 哪怕全世界割你韭菜 我也是你最温暖的港湾 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